I don’t eat meat, chicken, beef or seafood. …None at all.

I laugh when I am sad, and cry when I am hurt.
I get very giggly when I am tired.
When you tell me a secret and tell me not to tell anyone I won’t.
I get lost in multi-club venues…and can’t remember where my tab is.
I love wine not whining

My idea of a Sunday is going for a run, reading the paper or a book, catching a game, or brunching with friends
I don’t date midgets.
I can’t manage drunkenness and stairs

I fall down a lot. (when I am drinking)

I love lounge gymnastics too much (have been known to do cartwheels in the hall)

I’m so scatter brained that I will have to go out and buy a duplicate item of something I just bought and lost two days ago.
If I am reading or writing, I will totally block you out if you try to talk to me.
I love playing practical jokes, and hate having them played on me

I am extremely blunt and have a tendency to open my mouth and speak my mind no matter how hard I try to control myself.
I drink like a fish and curse like a sailor, but I don’t know if this is a minus or a plus.

I don’t play dumb, ever.
I am lousy at forgiving myself.

I’m a huge sports nut. I’ll talk about them with any one, even if you have no clue what I’m talking about.

I’m very indecisive, no I ‘m not, yes I am.
I get bored easily and become antsy

I have a very flirtatious nature.

I tend to talk very loud and lack a volume control

Just when you think you’ve got me fixed, I throw another dysfunction at you to begin the process all over again.

I have a low tolerance for dishonesty. I say it like it is and hold nothing back. I expect the same out of anyone I associate with. An omission is a lie in my book.

Yes my hair is naturally red and no you can’t make me prove it.

Ethan Hawke walked in on me in the bathroom when I was 6 yrs. Old.

I will never again have a roommate

I will never live with someone, again – until I am married.

I have a tough girl attitude but am a real softie.

I’m pro adoption and pro choice.

I would make a good mom someday, but will settle for making an awesome aunt.

I’m not a jealous person.

If you’re going to hold my hand – HOLD IT.

My favorite time of the day is dusk.

I talk to my Mom everyday

I don’t care about a guy’s car and watch. Treat me right

I look in the mirror when I am driving

I can drive with my knees

I love a warm towel

I call people Babe and Dude – A LOT!

I love LOVE

My favorite move is The Princess Bride

I ask people if they want my cat, but could never part with her.

I miss my best friend from high school.

I was 48^th in the nation for cycling in 2002

I have scars from road rash from falling off my bike at 30 mph.

I have run 2 marathons

I have bad knees

I can crack my back on demand

I heart John Cusack and Zach Braff

I’ve never cheated, but have been cheated on.

I believe in Karma

I can still do the Splits.

I know right from wrong all it’ss a choice we all make.

I don’t believe in friends of convenience.
I have lived more places then people twice my age.
I have amazing parents.
When people say, “you know how siblings are” like it’s a statement - no I don’t. Their my best friends.
When I was 5 I was in a Annie Look A Like contest and was runner up.
I think runner up is a strange term.

I still want to be a doctor, a lawyer, and Wonder Woman.

When I was younger and acted up, Mom and Dad would threaten me.
They said, “If you don’t behave – you can’t watch TV. for a week!”This was terror to the ears of a child, I would cringe and shape up immediately. I will do anything, but please – don’t take my television viewing pleasures away. The idea of being deprived of watching 90210, Saved By The Bell, Three’s Company, and many others — even for one week — threw me into fits of strife that to say I was difficult is an understatement. . My parents were accustomed to me being difficult – without hesitation -they would yank the cord.

After college, I never made an effort to purchase a new television. I resigned myself to late nights with friends, reading books, talking on the phone, and surfing the web for hours on end. The television is my peripheral nonessential form of entertainment. It’s there for news in the mornings with The Today Show and a guilty dose of Reality T.V. That’s it.

If someone were to disconnect my wireless router or hide my Blackberry I may well become an uber- bitch Medusa style. If I really want to find something out or understand a situation I’ll fill my head with useless information that I have Googled.

And now, this weekend I have committed my self to purchase a TV. Part of my decision is for ascetic purposes. I have the perfect place in my apartment for it. Buy once - buy well – make it HD with a good sound system.

There are the guys who get your pulse going a little, but these are invariably the emotionally unavailable guys. Melancholy Hipster Boy, for example, who send you lots of friendly emails and text messages. He makes it obvious that he wants to hang out with you but then when you do hoof it over to his apartment at 9 pm for pecan pie (when you really should be in bed so you can get up at a ridiculous time to go work out), he spends the whole time talking about himself. Like “Helloooo! I am here! Do you notice me?” Did I bring the fermion’s?

It is just discouraging sometimes, people. And I don’t have time for it. Between trying to become a super star sales diva, a rock star, an Aunt, a sister, a friend, and not to mention holding down a full-time job, I don’t have much patience for this stuff anymore.

On a side note, I have been able to go to some good ball games this week. Still a little miffed about buying my boss tickets to the Stro’s game then he’s like,” Hey can you see me up there? I’m in the club.”

Nice.

He leaned in for a kiss in the middle of the game. The GAME - I came over to hang out and watch the game. I was knocked off balance and asked, “What are you doing - don’t be silly . . . I can’t see the TV.”
He said, but we kissed before.” I stared him down while thinking of a million ways to let him down easy - yeah we kissed it was a peck kiss, that’s all. Nothing more nothing less. I kissed him the same way I kiss would kiss my grandpa. A simple peck on the forehead with a heart felt see you soon. He froze, unsure of what just happened. “Yes we did,” I started to stammer, not the Hugh Grant adorable way of stammering, more like Gilbert Godfrey. How do I explain he was in the friend zone? Once I’ve decided you’re in the friend zone. There is no escaping. “Don’t be silly, we are neighbors - let’s keep it at that”
We sat there for a few awkward moments. As usual, I made some comment that was a hell of a lot funnier in my head. He glanced over at me still unsure of how to act, told me I was a dork and laughed. Mean while I silently prayed his suave attempt to achieve player status had been thwarted. As I left his apartment to go home he said, “I have a lot of friends I’m not looking for anymore.” I blurted out, “Then I guess we can’t be friends.” He threw the white flag in the air and said, “Let’s talk later”
I recall all the Harry Met Sally conversations I have shared with my friends and buddies as to weather or not men and women can be friends. It’s an age old question. There are several types of male friends. One being the buddy, the guy who initially notices your womanly curves and thinks you’re cute. At the start of the friendship he angled a few lines to see if you would bite. Unknowingly you turned him down; you didn’t even see the bait dangling. He would jump up and down yelling, “Hello do you like me?” You failed to recognize the clues. If you did see the clues, you cast them aside saying to yourself, “I don’t like your bait – I want the one on the upper west side who knows his way around the Loop.” This fish has joined the school of minnows. As Toby says, he’s a “Stripey”. After he acknowledged your lack of attraction, once again he felt the pain of rejection. He brushed his shoulders off and became the guy you call for dating advice. He loves you, respects you, and wants the best for you. Now he’s one of your best buds. This is what I encountered last night.

In rare circumstances after years of being “just friends” SOMETHING changes. The dynamics of the relationship shift. A cold front, turning 30 or 40, changing cologne, to many glasses of cheap merlot, whatever -you begin to see this person for whom they truly are, your best friend and lover. That’s what we all want isn’t it? But if the attraction isn’t there: no promise of tomorrow can exist. Wouldn’t that be great if we could buy attraction? Purchase it from a street vendor the same way we buy soft pretzels. Mmm nice and doughy, the perfect combination of salt and substance. Spray fermions over the ones we wish we were attracted to or were attracted to us? Instead it’s like trying to grab a prize with a crane. You see the one you want; the coloring is appealing, right size and shape. The geometrics and positioning of the beast look attainable and … you take a chance. You have to!

Me: “Carlin, how are you?”
Her: “We’re fine - and you?”

She is now plural - there is no more I in her life of motherhood. She’s still the independent brassy gal I adore - almost done with the PHD program at UPENN - 2 beautiful kids and a husband. It’s hard not living close to you and seeing your kids and hubby. On days like today I can’t help but think, I want to talk to my older sister. I want her to grab my hand and jump into a time machine. Can we have a snow day today? Even though it’s April, I want a snow day. Or I want to be sent home because the snow is piling up outside.
Remember how we would leap off the bus careful not to drop our precious art project that was worth a hundred million dollars? Once inside we would rush to see who could get dressed in their snow outfits first. You’d put on those fluffy pink earmuffs Mom bought at Woolworths. Hurry - we only have 3 more hours of daylight. After an hour outside Mom would call us in to eat grilled cheese triangles and tomato soup. You’d laugh at me as my soup would spill down the front of my turtleneck. Hurry you’d say, we need to finish our fort. We’d dash back outside with our straps flailing behind to find our brothers had come home and once again were playing king of the snow fort. They killed our masterpiece. A fun filled snow ball fight would soon ensue which neighborhood kids always flocked to. They came to US. It was one of the many joys of being a member of a large family. I always had friends around. I miss those friends terribly on days like this.

crazy straws in chocolate milk, blowing bubbles in your milk, grilled cheese triangles dipped into tomato soup. Card games. Jacks. Watching The Goonies. Smocks and easels with finger painting. Snack time. Sweet Valley High, Babysitters Club, He-Man, Thunder Cats, Sesame Street, Piglet, Snorkels, making pottery in art class, recess, behaving during the length of the school day so your teacher would allow you to have an extra 15 minutes at recess, Fraggle Rock, Kids Incorporated, Mr. Rogers always freaked us out, Capatin Kangaroo, we thought Kirk Cameron was heart throb, Rick Schroder will always be Ricky, Lost Boys, The Coreys’, Dangly earings, Charm Bracelets, Chucks a.k.a Converse, cinch cuffed jeans, bangs.

Would you actually use a time machine?

A Polish Blessing- May your heart be as patient as the earth. Your love as warm as harvest gold. May your days be full, as the city is full Your nights as joyful as dancers. May your arms be as welcoming as home. May your faith be as enduring as God’s love. Your spirit as valiant as your heritage. May your hand be as sure as a friend. Your dreams as hopeful as a child. May your soul be as brave as your people. AND MAY YOU BE BLESSED.

Everything is changing, people are moving on rapidly. In the past 6 months THREE of my dear friends have lost a parent. And now, as a true failthful Catholic - we are all orphans. I cry and sob, the heart aching wail that is terror to the ears. You know this feeling, you feel your vocal chords echo and vibrate with out a peep, just a wail. Pope John Paul II touched thousands of lives through blessing, love, and compassion. He brought religions together being the first Pope to EVER enter a Mosque. He acknowledged there is a God and showed respect to other religions. Perhaps - just perhaps - he made it easier for my Grandma to understand my sister marrying a Muslim. They were married in a Church by a Priest and a Shake - a tag team ceremony if you will. Once again, I digress. He was also the first Priest to EVER enter into a synagogue. Many of his appearances were political, and why shouldn’t they be? He is at the top of the food chain, CEO, President, THE BIG CHEESE of the Catholic Church. He began talks with Syria, visited Cuba, Russia, and has been a key player in bringing an end to communism world wide.

The Pope held fast to the belief of not allowing women to become Priests. He has been accused of not keeping up with modern thinking by such action. I agree with the Pope, I consider myself a progressive traditionalist. One mother - one father together forever. Not everyone has such a luxury as the nuclear family is no longer the norm. The days of women vacuuming wearing pearls are over (did that actually happen?). However, when roots are deep buried under pounds of sod, water, and earth it is necessary to stand stand strong.

PJP - you are loved and missed

Only because I know you read this Big Brother. Mom said you think I am ready to settle down. Ahem - my question is, with who? I mean Joe is cool and all but she’s a cat.

Tomorrow I move out. Another chapter of my life closed. Just a few days ago Blondie did some pretty rotten things to me. She hacked several of my online accounts and sent emails from my accounts. My initial reaction was to take her out and show her how we handle things in Jersey.
Sadly enough I have this strong powerful thing called a conscious. She wants a reaction from me; she does not deserve that type of satisfaction. God and Karma will kick her ass a lot harder than I ever could.

Funny enough I am some what sad as it wasn’t always like this. We used to laugh until our sides ached, sending nonstop emails and text messages all day long. If one of us were out and had our bed sheets in the wash - we would finish the wash and make the bed. We were thoughtful and considerate. I came around the blind curve and saw the first signs Sept. 11th when we met Bobby and Brian. Instead of turning her in, I made her wrong right - correcting her mistake and believing it WAS a momentary lapse in judgment. One should not look back and agonize over the situation. Over the years I have had to say goodbye to friends for various reasons. I enjoyed the good times we had and regret the way the story played out.

It’s back to me and Joe , the crazy attack cat.