Have you ever been embarrassed by running into a crush at the grocery store?  It’s one thing if the said crush were to see you at the gym all hot and sweaty.  When you’re at the gym and have a right to look red faced and drenched.  It’s another thing to see said crush at Whole Foods post workout and wearing ragged sweatshirt while looking and feeling like hell.  Secretly you dart into an aisle pretending you need bath salt even though you have five varieties under your sink.  And let’s say when the coast is clear you dart to a check out counter.  Phew, you believe you made it until you feel a tug on your pony tail.  “Hey Red,”  crap you would be caught face to face with said be crush while you have no make up on and are post gym sweaty and  forced to speak with said crush.  Charmingly you imagine to pull it off and said crush asks you to help him with a business acquisition (wink wink).  Humbly you would run off to your car, had this ever happened to you.

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 Nobody writes songs about New Jersey

 Sweet Home New Jersey?

New Jersey Dreamin’?

Deep in the Heart of New Jersey?

New Jersey State of Mind?

I don’t think so.

It is strange, suddenly having a memory come back out of nowhere.  You think you’re going crazy; you wonder where this recollection has been hiding all your life.  You try to push it away, because you think you’ve hammered out the whole timeline of your life.  But then, you see that one extra moment when time slipped by leaving you but a trace of what happened and suddenly you are breaking apart   There are so many things I want to say, there are so many things I don’t remember.  There’s no one else I would rather talk to than you. Alas, I can’t.  You and I are not on speaking terms. The night I left your words hurt like stepping on a land mine. I boarded a plane, you called, I ignored and bit upper lip.  

 I found this poem and thought of you just yesterday.  An email from you was in my inbox. With out reading it, I hit delete.  

Soon

An episode of Lost proclaimed, “the universe has a way of correcting itself.” This afternoon as I was arriving home the Ex NFL player asked if he could talk to me for a minute. I pulled into the driveway and nonchalantly parked my car.

“Dude, I leave for a week and a guy’s body is found in a trashcan up the street (the other side ofWashington) and someone is shot on our block. I don’t know if I can trust you to take care of the hood.”

In a calm manner that screams’ I’ve seen more of the real world than you ever will City Girl,’ his voice doesn’t raise a decimal.  I have to lean in only because he’s about to deliver a powerful punch. “Yeah. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Ya know that guy who stole your computer?”

 “He goes by Black.”

 “It was him that was shot and killed.”

I swallowed this news knowing weeks earlier I had wanted the worst for him but death was never one of them. All I could muster was, “That’s so sad.”

“I was hoping you’d see it that way.”

 “What happened?”

“He grew up with the guy who killed him. Apparently he made him look like a fool in front of a bunch of girls and shot at him six times. One got em real good and he died here.”

I’m truly troubled by this even though this guy invaded my home and stole from me. A friend of mine says, “think how many people he stole from or lives he messed up. When you live like a street thug – you die like one “

 Article From Houston Chronicle

 A man fatally wounded in a shooting in the 4200 block of Schuler early today has been identified as Israel Demetrius Scott II, 30, of 5521 Malmedy Road., Houston police spokesman Sgt. Nate McDuell said. Scott was with a group of people on Schuler at about 1 a.m. when he got into an argument with Cody L. St. Junius, 26, a member of the group, McDuell said. St. Junius got into his Chevrolet Monte Carlo, pulled up to the group and fired several shots from a 9-mm. pistol, striking Scott in the chest, McDuell said witnesses told homicide investigators. Junius then fled the scene in the car, McDuell said. Scott was taken to Ben Taub Hospital, where he was pronounced dead, McDuell said. Police were searching for St. Junius.

For some unknown sick reason I ‘ve taken it upon myself to find out the exact details of the situation. These two guys have grown up together and known one another most of all their lives. As adults, I imagine, they graduated high school and did the job they saw around them: Sell Drugs. One of the guys I see hanging around on a regular basis always says, “hi” to me as I drive by with my doors locked. In part, because I unload food I don’t want in the house on him. He’s 25 and deals pot only. We’ve talked as I’ve handed him food- he’s never had anyone talk to him about going to college….about moving above the streets. The other two guys probably grew up the same way but in harsher environments.  The culture in Houston has produced a strong hip hop scene leading to promising careers such as Mike Jones and Chingo Bling. They sing of living on the streets and drive by shootings. I admit to singing along with Tu Pac as a white suburban female and not understanding that he wasn’t fucking around. This past weekend hit a little close to home.

 Let’s break it down.

Two life long friends, one 26 the other 30 years old.

A random Tuesday night begins with a few guys hanging out enjoying the company of some ladies.

The 30 yr old with more street cred makes jokes not realizing he is humiliating younger guy with less street cred.

The two argue back and forth on their way to their cars after realizing the ladies weren’t going to happen.

Several hours later the two find themselves hanging out on the same corner. The fight continues. Younger guy in a fit of rage gets into his car, drives by and fires six shots directly at his childhood friend.

The 30 yr. old is pronounced dead shortly there after.

 Six hours later the younger guy has a family member take him downtown to turn him in and to be charged with murder.

This boy is 26 years old and won’t see the light of day outside a county jail until he’s 40.

two lives wasted….then again, did they ever really exist?