In Heaven there will be applesauce, high top sneakers and duvets. You won’t need to give explanations, apologies or change for a dollar. There will be no alarm clocks, tube socks or allergies to gluten. Friendships and milk will never sour with age. Love will grow taller than Jack’s Beanstalk. You will never lose the receipt, your sanity, or a bet with your brother. Stamps will be free, scratch that, stamps will not be necessary.. You won’t have the same argument, with the same person, in the same way for years on end. In fact- you won’t argue at all. Calories won’t count, in fact, food is not necessary. Alcohol is a side step and socializing is spent by looking down at those below and zapping them with butterflies to help the one’s we left behind. Sex is shared with the one who got away on Earth or your husband/wife. Childhood pets run by your side and the lessons you never figured out suddenly become clear as white noise.

Oh, and green gummy bears will fall from the sky like raindrops.