Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | June 5, 2005


Don’t you hate it when stories begin with
“The weekend started out ” or “Once upon a time” as though it were in a land far far … far away? In Houston, Texas we begin with a “YEE HA” and a smack of the whip. Ouch. That hurt, do it again but harder.

In Houston we try really really hard to not let the Yee interfere with our HA. The HA should always be louder than the Yee. That’s the way it’s supposed to be, the ending is a lot louder than the beginning. Close the weekend with a bang and start with a meow.
Friday on the way to the geek gathering, Neurotic fish was drained of all liquid and was smacked against the side, by a truck (this is Texas after all). In true CSI fashion she tracked him down, shook her finger, and gave him the evil eye. She’s such a bad ass. The Whip cracked as the cops, her parents, brother, sister in law, and the munchkins from the Wizard of OZ showed up at the scene. I had to break it to her, “There really are easier ways to get everyone together.” We waited patiently while the saga played out and she arrived to us in one piece. Shaken, but not stirred.

Erin and I had places to go and shadows to catch. Making a getaway for Pub Fiction, its real – not fiction. Once there I was confused (imagine that) is it a country bar, a sports bar, a lounge, or a live music venue? The blending of bar themes seem to be all the rage in Houston. Let’s please everyone, no whiners here’s a Prozac and a cocktail, now drunken friends is everyone happy with the country/sports bar/ lounge/dance club? We expect a lot from our bars in Houston, why shouldn’t we?

The next day involved a lazy day at the pool, a fashion event, Momma Sun’s birthday get together and an after hour party at my apt (why not?)

Stop 1: Aunt Mookie – I am horrible at small talk. Running into old acquaintances or party acquaintances and not having anything to say. These are the people you see out on the weekends and are on all of your evite lists. You don’t know them but you have photos of the two of you hugging at such and such party. When you first see one another, you give a smile and a hug. The only logical next step is to do a shot together. Standing at the bar with empty shot glasses while you are waiting for the drinks you just ordered, it’s inevitable. The age old question of, “so, what’s new with you?” I suddenly become the most boring person EVER. Can we please talk about you instead. I don’t want to talk about me. Stop laughing, it’s true. My life is dramatic and a lot of rock star when you ask me, “What’s going on?” Umm….I don’t know what to say and stand there in the unmanageable silence. Can we talk about sports or pop culture? Trying to sum up my life and nothing you probably care about in the 10 sentences I can hold your gaze or our drinks arrive is awkward. We hug occasionally exchange numbers or email addresses and retreat to the safety of our friends. Back to our corners.

During the fashion get together I bought a shirt that says, I HATE YOU on the front and on the back it says, Call Me. Apparently Aunt Mookie, the CIA operative, is psychic. I’ll explain. Earlier in the day I was talking to Trisha and asked her how things were going with the latest and greatest man in her life.
T: The one from the Rockets game?
Me: Yes, he sounded like someone good for you?
T: Or, so I thought. He told me how he wanted to take things to the next level on Saturday. On Sunday, I started asking him about HIM. I wanted to know more of his story. It was as though someone flipped his off switch. He shut down. I was frustrated and raised my voice(lots of expletives). He told me to apologize; I told him I wouldn’t until he answered my questions. That was Sunday and I hadn’t heard from him since then. So, on Thursday I left him a voice mail and told him its best we end it because if he can’t be open with me this early on then he’s not ready for a relationship.
Me: Did he call you back?
T: No, but if he were to call today and say, ‘Come over’ I’d cave and be like …okay.

That’s why I bought the shirt. I hate you. Call me. Aware of the masochistic behavior.
One of my guy friends is currently going through this with a girl. She’s using him,and he’s very aware of it. I being the good friend, send him text messages while they are together such as “You know better” “You’ll be calling me later and telling me what she did and list all her faults” Then he’ll go back and see her again. WHY?

My friends perhaps we need a dating insane asylum. It’s a lot of fun and a helluva lot of crazy.

Sunday: I hadn’t planned on going to brunch, but come on now. I had the perfect shirt to wear.


  1. cool… you went to mookie! so it was fun? we couldn’t make it… celebrating bryan’s birthday at the strip house. as far as steak goes, it was gooooood…
    rupa and amber are good friends of mine, so thanks for supporting them in their venture…
    where’d you brunch? ls? gawd, i don’t have the liver for that these days. am i getting old?

  2. wow. you actually recapped a weekend for a change πŸ˜‰

    second, why do most women always “cave in”? don’t they know, that’s highly unattractive to the “A” list guys (i.e. me) πŸ˜‰

    third, i will be texting you for advice too. perhaps sooner than expected πŸ˜‰

  3. Glad you had a good weekend! I am highly intrigued by this blending of the bars phenomenon. We don’t have anything like that here. 😦
    Love the shirt!!!

  4. We had the brillant brunch idea of putting the rejection hotline number under Call Me. My friends are so clever.
    713-866-6249. I can’t stomach LS these days, I only made it to Farrago then bailed as they went to LS. It’s not that we are getting old it’s that our To Do Lists are getting longer.

  5. My friend is in Houston this week for a music festival, and he was telling me the food is so cheap there. I guess he got this huge burger, a big salad and rolls for about $7. I can’t even get a sandwich for that here.

  6. Food is really cheap here and the real estate market has pretty much bottomed out, definately a great place to invest. Justin, Houston is not any where near as pretty as Boca and it lacks a lot of outdoor activities but it’s an extremely livable city and the people here are very down to Earth.

  7. Now all I would have to do is take the Texas Bar. πŸ™‚

  8. You make it sound so easy.


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