Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | June 13, 2005

Birthday dinner with the Ex

Walking back to the table the wind caught my hair while he contemplated his move. It was now or never, the window of opportunity was closing with each step I took in his direction. If he was going to do it, now was the time. With one big move, he grabbed it. The hair stood up on the back of my neck as I approached and screeched like a crow, “Pray tell what are you doing?” He had seized my Blackberry which is the equivalent to my first born.
“Relax, I am just looking at the differences between yours and mine.”
“There’s a lot of difference between yours and mine.”
“Mine’s bigger.”
I retorted, “Than who’s? Never mind, I don’t want to know, forget I said it.”
“You’ll never change. The waiter is hot for you.”
I scanned the crowd and caught his glance, “He’s cute, but I won’t be able to wait for him to become legal.”
“He’s at least 25 and keeps looking at you.”
“No he’s looking at our drinks; making sure we stay liquored up.”
“He’s definitely hot for you.”
“If he’s hot for me than he’s definitely wrong for me. Remember that whole turning over a new leaf speech I gave you? I need to start looking for the wrong kind of right even when I am attracted to the right kind of wrong.”
“I was the right kind of wrong then. (Pause) I think you should talk to the waiter, its hip now ya know, to date younger men.”
“Yeah whore’s r’ us. When the waiter comes I am going to ask him for whip cream. What did you do to my phone?”
“Your nightly tasks.”
“Does it involve whip cream?”
“No shaving”
“That’s to easy, and obvious.”
“So is the whip cream. Did you figure out what I did to your phone yet? Look under tasks.”
I scrolled to my Notes icon and found the memo he had left me.
Priority Level: Not necessary Central Time: “I gave him your number”

“That’s it. I’m taking the whip cream and going home.”


  1. So he did give him your number???

  2. Interesting dating strategy. Mine is to find a woman that isn’t too crazy.

  3. So tell us, did you get his number?

  4. I look for a fun attitude when I date.

    BTW, my cellphone is bigger than yours too.


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