Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | June 24, 2005


Only siblings will be able to understand the fierce personality traits of their close confidants, rivals, and blood. As adults, we are to be mature and move along at a steady pace throwing emotion by the way side and be very, albeit not always rational creatures. We move from childhood enemies, the kicking, screaming, biting, and spitting to the first person I call when my heart is broken, the first person I call when I just need to talk as I look at the ever expanding emptiness of my apartment, my first feeling of home. Jo, my in house furball factory, has formed paths in the carpet resembling crop circles, she doesn’t fulfill this void. This void that has become the home of sibling rivalry. It’s a lemon of inheritance, and more than a wee bit silly. Refund please.

When I was a small child running around the fields of Erie, Pennsylvania I would, climb trees, build giant castles in the woods made of dirt and stones , scale fences, play Star Wars with sticks, kickball, catch (monkey in the middle), I would try to do everything my older brothers were doing. They are both married now. One has children, the other has dogs -he’s chasing academia and his dogs. I won’t be going the kid route for a while and my apartment isn’t big enough for a dog hence, I no longer try to do everything they do. When I would fall out of trees my mother would run to my aide and scoop me up. I would move from hurt to stubborn in a split second.
“Go away Mom. I want my NaNa.” My oldest brother, my NaNa

My decision to leave California and move to Texas (in the movies it happens the other way around) was based on my parents nagging, I mean persuasion and my siblings advice. Sissy and F. were in Dallas at the time and N. is in Houston. That was important. It still is. Recently have developed a distance with N. after receiving nasty
email from N. discussing the fact that I am,
“his only sister who is not married, has no kids,or responsibilities, so why shouldn’t I be at his beckon call and ignore my responsibilities?”
Needless to say became bitter Sass after reading email.

According to Big Brother Oracle there is a difference between married people and single people. Married people with kids day dream of the days when they did not have children and did not have such responsibilities. People with children are very busy that is understood, but single people day dream of having such responsibility even when we can’t keep a cactus alive. How often is one supposed to water those things? Kids take up a lot of time, so do various activities, community involvement, dating, friends, being a good sister to BBO and other fab. siblings, a kick ass aunt and daughter, blogging, full time circus clown to diplomatic ring leader boss, and cleaning up after master furball factory. Excuses…..perhaps.

I have since come up with reasons to not have kids and shy…okay run away from all responsibility if having kids constitutes me as an adult or a grown up. I never do want to grow up. My parents never have.

1. What if I don’t like their friends
2. What if they are ugly?
3. What if they leave dishes in the sink like Rea? Bad Rea.
4. You have to drive them everywhere until they get a car which I will have to pay for out of my shoe money.
5. You’re the center of their life until they hit 13 want to wear mascara and call me DAWG- they then turn into some type of evil mutant spawn
6. Responsible for them legally and financially – there’s that word – responsible – I am scared just writing it
7. They might take after their father
8. They might lie and say the cat shaved herself bald
9. They will lie and say someone snuck into the house and ate all the Yodels
10. They smell like dirt, honeysuckles, snot, and unconditional love

Bitter mean words mean love and longing, understood. I still want my NaNa
All my love,


  1. Very Well Said!!!! Love You,

  2. That’s the downside of a happy childhood, we never want to leave it.
    I’ll be 13 forever, with or without a wife and children.
    Wanna go climb a tree?

  3. I love your list. What if their ugly. Haahahhahha

  4. That’s so funny. I have a very similar list – including what if they aren’t cute. I also have mental retarded or deformed or all kinds of other things. I think about things too much I tell ya.

    However, you can’t fool me. You, much like the other red haired blogger I know, still want to have children. Shoe money or not.

  5. sass:
    it is the same with all bro’s – they just try and get a reaction from ya and it totally works – but you know you would jump in front of a bullet for them – doncha know?

  6. You are from Erie?

  7. I think I may have known a girl from Erie once … but can’t remember.

  8. Thomas,
    We lived there for a brief bit while my parents were going through a quasai hippy phase. We had the goats, horses, chickens, and my dad gave us the pony my sister and I always wanted, that farm is why I am a vegetarian.
    They then turned into corporate gypsies

  9. I officially hate you, even when you fight it sounds poetic.


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