Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | June 25, 2005

and if

I’ve been rebelling against coervcive love and coercive like for quite sometime now. When things get a little to close, a little to comfortable, I worry. My insecurities shine like a mirror in the sun reflecting rays of doubt wondering if this can be real. Been working really hard at this endless adjustment. Really. Readjusting to the summer heat that makes men go wild. Short skirts, 3 inch heels, Gypsy tank top – – am dolled up like a tramp. Work it baby.

I got my girl back from W.V. and filming; text message was sent,
“Must come dancing tonight – nuff said”
Fast fwd 6 maybe 7 hours to wine tasting at apt. complex with neighbors

Shouldn’t really freak out about this torrid love affair been having with to cute neighbor. Unavailable neighbor. It would be easier if To Cute Totally Hott neighbor weren’t so fun to play with. Not the I want to have your babies play but the dangling by a string type of play. Who’s the cat and who’s the mouse? Not really an affair, just innocent flirting. Honestly.
Ronda, TCTH Neighbor, and Irf satieted our growling stomachs at Fish. More flirting.

TCTH: “Do y’all mind stopping by Pub fiction w/me for the grand opening?’
Me: “Isn’t this their umpteenth grand opening?, I promised Cathy I would meet her.”
Ronda: “Can you dance there?”
Me: “A lack of dance floor has never stopped us before.”
Ronda: “ Right, too true. “

Who ever knew dancing to a guitar and bongo drums could be so much fun. Tis first time ever heard Ice Ice Baby played on bongo’s, never made it to Cathy.

And now as I prepare to get trampelicious for great date #3, I worry about the comfort I feel. I don’t wear comfort well. Feeling unsteady and praying I am not walking on a fault line. I’ve been laying the ground work to move from temporary to permanent. Understanding that not everything is going to burn, not everyone will leave a scar, the next one will be better than the last. O.

Thomas I wish I could be a little more like, Samantha, just can’t bring myself to all that openness

It’s only date #3. Dress like tramp NOT act like tramp.


  1. Let go. Let go of all you know and all you think you know. Thoughts clutter your brain like the sound of raindrops on a barns tin roof during a summer down pour. You are an Aries for Gods sake, starting acting like one. I know we were all fed a lot of social crap as children about our basic rolls in life whether it is professional or our love lives, but by now you must realize these molds do not define who you are. Most of your friends have successfully gone through these transitions but you have remained on your own unique level. You are playing the game of life with the wrong rulebook. Open your eyes to a new perspective.

    This one should really freak your friends…lol

  2. How did date #3 go?

  3. Ahh, date #3. And what a marvelous date that one can be. 🙂 I can’t garner from reading your post if this one is also with THTCN (note: (and I wouldn’t mention this, but you are consistent in your posts) it should be Totally cute TOO Hot Neighbor) or with some other eligible bachelor. However, it does sound a bit like The Dating Game.

    I would think you would feel more comfortable with someone like THTCN, based solely on the brief amount I could gather from this post, as you would have more control and be able to toy with him more. Unless the relationship would remove this confidence. Man … I need more information. I feel like I just read a Stephanie post.

    I hope it went well!! 🙂

  4. Stalker boy J – Jopada leave me alone already –


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