Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | June 27, 2005

Lack of Filter

There is a reoccurring theme with my friends right now, not sure why it keeps occurring. It pops up like an unexpected hiccup rearing its ugly head ignoring the brush off. There it is – sometimes nasty and usually true. Someone will drop the ball and say the wrong thing. Very Inappropriate Remark – the VIR. It sits there in dead air as nervous looks are exchanged across the room. Panicking they turn to hide their face and humiliation in the glass, return a text message, or light another cigarette. Faces blush and backs are turned.
People usually look at things before they name them, give it a day or a week before assigning the nick name, not with the VIR. It flies right out and leaves a mark. Psycho science studies deem it’s the rushed pace or distraction that causes the slip of the tongue. These mistakes that are made when defenses and reason are low, the miscalculations of the sentence. Waking up the next morning and realizing the cost of inconsistency and kissing bruised egos. It’s fatuous and critical

Ma. to Ch: “That was out of line. Really out of line.”
E: “Maybe I was out of line”
Sol: “I didn’t name my cat after you”
Kr “I feel so bad I shouldn’t have said that but I was, and then there was”
Me: “It wasn’t meant to sound as you took it”
R: “Tell me what did I say? I don’t remember”

It’s when I look back reflecting on the careless handling of situations and realize their empty value that I acknowledge the brevity. True friends always accept the apology before restating the hiccup and questioning the motive.
There never was one.

Been struggling with my thoughts on particular situations and listening to peoples “advice”. Never been one to take advice, but thanks for the suggestions. It follows the theme of Independence. It’s wasn’t until I moved completely across the country with no job/family/ or money to fall back on; it wasn’t until he put his hands around my throat and left me on the curb (we’ll cover that some day), or until I lost it all and woke up sweating that I realized I can figure it out on my own and trust myself. Your advice is invited, I will ask you for thoughts and suggestions – we may even approach a conclusion together.
Batter up Dr. Phil.

Just when you thought I might be cool, I went and bought the Wonder Women DVD series don’t worry Sissy – I bought one for you too. (very bad sister this weekend – happy birthday) Mad SHAZAM!


  1. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, you would make an excellent Wonder Woman.

  2. definitely wonder woman material.

    and since you mentioned it, i went back and re-read that email exchange we had last year… funny stuff, but handled exactly how sh*t like that should usually be handled… maturally and objectively, with no judgments. that doesn’t happen often, so i’m impressed all over again.

  3. Wonder Woman….Hmmmm, yes I see it now! Isn’t there supposed to be a remake of that movie coming out in near future? I think I heard Buffy was going to play it! Yay!
    I hate the hiccups too. It depends who it’s coming from and the velocity it holds behind the statement. Sometimes it’s hard to forget about those things and they stick with you.
    At any rate, I think that you seem like a very strong and independent woman and I love hearing about your stories.

  4. I agree Sarah.

  5. Jess, I am volunteering my advice services. I have had years of practice.


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