Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | July 5, 2005

Microwave time – NOW

“This is not for shopping.” The 5 year old was telling me.

She has my demeanor, my body type, my attitude, my lack of attention, they call her “Little Jessie” and she wants it all NOW. I’ll give her back after we are done playing. Maybe now

“Can we? Can we? Aunt Jess ssssss ie”

Seconds turn into hour’s perhaps even days as she stands in front of me begging, now pleading to go. Hands across her chest looking like Matilda –hanging on the rack. She wants to go; she wants me to walk out of the store and she wants me to do it NOW.

“I really want to go, please. Why didn’t you bring it? We have to buy a new one? Aunt Jessie???”
She’s one of the few people who can get away with calling me Jessie and not have me threaten her existence. It’s adorable when she says it or my best friends from highschool call me Jissie in their South Carolina draw. Jessie sounds needy and whiny – hits a little to close to home, I’ve never liked the way it drools out of mouths.
The look of want and immediate satisfaction grace her face as she begs me. She’s pleading and holding it out there in the middle of the store at the beach on a Saturday afternoon. Her innocence and freckles on the nose make me want to smother her with kisses. I pause before replying recognizing the need and knowing “No” would only bring tears to her eyes. Whiny puffy eyed lower lip sticking out not understanding NO type of tears.

“Only because you said please Bug.”


Walking into the bar and taking one step closer to an AA meeting with two of my best gal pals Friday evening the game was definitely on. Short skirts, slimming black pants, halter tops, shiny lips and the shoes of course. I’ve worked enough rooms and done the “once around” at enough parties to be able to tell you who is going home with who and who will be left standing on the dance floor alone. It’s easy human chemistry, attraction, and body language. He leaned in closer to her shuttering the void between the bar and him. The snap of her purse and the click of her heel – she was more than annoyed and walked away. “Thanks for the drink” loser. He tried to be entertaining, he tried to dance, he tried to damn hard.
“I can tell you right now – you work a lot of hours and are trying to relax, you’d rather be in a sports bar or sitting on your couch. You’re friend doesn’t work a lot, he’s probably in some sort of sales job or fell into his families business – he needs to wear different shirts – it’s to loud and screams I am going to show up at your house and boil your cat. Your other buddy, I can tell by his demeanor – he’s picky because he’s been hurt – he’s hesitant and jerky and cries to be loved. Am I right?”
“You’re right on the money”

I walked away the moment I noticed the hottest guy in the room. Tall 6’2” nice jeans a relaxed shirt that was edgy, clean, and very stylish. The guy could even pick out shoes. Totally impressed. I am mesmerized and tortured as he stands in the middle of the dance floor. He senses familiarity spinning around on his heel. Ahh the familiar smile, those lips, the hair, and glistening baby blues.

“Hey baby – it’s good to see you again”
I wanted to ask him why he colored outside the lines and didn’t follow through with promises, why he kissed her and trashed what I gave him, why he broke up with me while I was standing in the middle of a mechanic shop getting my oil changed.

“Mam – you need to pay – your car passed inspection, we changed the filter and adjusted your fluids. You’re good to go.”
“What? What about my … my broken heart. My ego. That won’t pass inspection” The mechanic looked at me like I was crazy and wanted to tell me, “We can’t fix crazy.”
I threw all of my I wants and Now’s back on my sleeve. I’ve always worn my heart on it –I still want it all NOW – just not with him.

“It’s nice to see you too. Gotta go.”

Now taking applications.


  1. That would be an example of the wrong kind of right, I suppose. What you need is the right kind of right.

  2. So email me the application. I just wanna see what kinds of questions/background check is required…

  3. Ooo, another man, vying for the affections of the one that is sassy.

  4. You guys may be able to influence the Application Review committee with bottles of a red, a white, and a vodka.

  5. Irf a.k.a. Professional drinker/bad influence
    Your on to me.

  6. Yeah … I suppose if I drank that much I might fall into her web. 🙂

  7. Oh dear, vying. I obviously haven’t thought this through. I didn’t know there’d be vying.

  8. There is something inherently funny about applying to be involved in one’s life, silly actually.

    Tinyhands – no vying, I’m really not that cool

    Justin – I have a web? Eeewwww!

  9. You should really look into having it removed. I think it might help.

  10. Whew. I wasn’t really up for all the vying. A bottle of wine perhaps, but no vying.

  11. i come from best search engine


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