Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | November 1, 2005

Groundhog Day

As the day drags on, a more existential type of angst will set in. Good Lord, was I put on this earth to be a corporate wage slave? Run around from place to place getting worn out doctors to sign on the dotted line. I’ll probably die in a plane crash before I get to climb a mountain, visit the Greek Isles, become a mother, or a wife – what order is that supposed to happen in? Maybe I will catch a horrible disease. Hell, the horrible disease has probably already lodged itself in my body. The Bird Flu! I caught it from the guy who snuggled to close to me in the elevator. What were those white spots on his shirt? Clearly, I am destined to die before finding true, lasting, meaningful love. Is it possible I could at least have lasting, meaningful sex before I die?

Luckily, I am too tired to really care a flying fudge about that now. Including caring about the innocuous man that’s buzzing through my head in waves of tyranny. What can I tell you that won’t get me in trouble or cause my sister to phone immediately?

J: “So how’s the house?”
Sis: “You dating anyone?”
J: “No one special. So how’s the house?”
Sis: “Ooh that was good but your not getting off that easy.”

I can’t say much, that’s for sure. There isn’t anything naughty or sultry going on around here unless you count wearing a dress that needs double sided tape so your assets don’t fall out as you’re dancing above the crowd in the VIP section of a club. Or going home with, what I thought were, friends only to fly out of their house and realize their intention of bringing me home was for a little ménage trios. I sprouted wings that night and flew at the speed of light. Or listening to your friend’s stories of how she found out in the middle of her date the man was married. What? Who does that?

Other than that, business as usual.


  1. it gets better, sis. i promise.

  2. Doesn’t sound too boring! I do know how ya feel though-on most counts.

  3. Hmm, scary. Oddly, I’ve been in similar situations with family pressing for details they don’t want and friends, er, getting a little too personal. Of course, that was mainly the old life with the old wife, so I’m hoping for a few less of those kinds of incidents.
    Why is it that I have such low expectatinons for that simple goal? Maybe my luck will improve when I sell the sex toys she left behind on eBay…

  4. Things that make you go oops!
    Which is worse, finding out your date is married, or having him (or her) say he needs to go by the post office and see if his picture is still hanging?

  5. Girl, take a vacation by yourself, go to the Greek Isles, find yourself some nice, hot Greek stud for a week, then come back and tell us about it! Enjoy not being settled down while you can, because once you do… you’ll miss those nights that you actually get to sit on the couch all by yourself. Until then, housefraus like me have to live vicariously through you!

  6. Network Geek – yeah blame it on her. You techies and all your gadgets and toys. 😉

    Kristie – The grass is always greener hugh? Don’t get me wrong. I love my life, just sometimes it would be nice for a little more. . . routine?

    On another note, I’ve just received an email from a friend that stated,
    “All of our sex will be meanigful – well excpet for the meaningless encounters.”
    Who does he think I am? Jenna Jameson? sheesh.

  7. Er, I’d plead the Fifth, but it’s too late to not incriminate myself, isn’t it?
    Well, I’d never post it on my blog, because my thirteen-year-old former step-daughter reads it, but, while I won’t admit to buying my ex-wife her first, ah, “device”, I can reccomend a little shop called “Good Vibrations” in San Francisco. The bull-dyke that dresses head-to-toe in black leather is amazingly helpful, frightfully knowledgable about her inventory, and disturbingly accurate in her guessed measurements when matched to “hardware”.
    The rest, I take to my grave. Unless, someone really cute shows up with really, really good single-malt Scotch, like a 25+ year-old Macallen. Then, anything goes. (Which is how I got married in the first place, I think!)

    As for that last bit, well, that cad! It should always be meaningful! And, if I respected you the night before, I promise, I’d respect you in the morning. Trust me. I used to be a Boy Scout and I wouldn’t lie about something like that.

  8. I’m still hoping to just get in a meaningful one-night stand before it’s all said in done…

  9. According to the news, the bird flu is going to get us all so you’d better move quickly on finding the lasting, meaningful sex. 🙂
    If my grandmother were here, she would say that in order to see the rainbow, you’ve got to get through the storm. Since I’m not an old woman, I’ll just say hang in there.

  10. Not me, Zombie Lama. It’s the full-on meaningful relationship or I’ll just continue to suffer in near silence. Not for any noble purpose, mind, but because I *know* that’s how I met my ex-wife!

  11. Usual sounds fairly interesting if in involves threesomes and married dates…

  12. (relax. make a plan to do what you want to do. there is more.)

  13. Hmm, lots of reflection going on here. It happens. I’m a firm believer that good things will happen to good people. So just be patient, your time will come.

  14. I often dream about being brought home for a little menage’ action but it always ends up being a burrito and a skinamax flick. Hmm…

  15. I just noticed the appropriateness of the title.


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