Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | December 18, 2005

the hip hop dancer, the drummer, & the ex frat man

A rootless bohemian like myself, gets knocked down quite easily these days. Here’s what I’m beginning to suspect during my moods of sass: I’m going to pieces. When I finally manage to make that new weaving from all the old unraveled threads on the upside-down loom, or just contrive to stuff all the bits any old where on any old shelf just to get them off the floor, I wonder if maybe I’ve done this to my life, I’ll find that a lot of the stuff I thought I knew the locations of actually dont look better in their new order. Er. Disorder.

Friday night wasnt supposed to end that way. It wasnt supposed to start that way either.

I boast about the amazing women in my life, they are truly remarkable and held on pedestals each one inspiring me to grow. But the Men, leave me speechless. Occasionally us Ladies fall from those stools weve cared enough to place our love on. Its during those moments when tact, style, and grace fly out the window on the wings of a dove; the Men are there for us, as friends. They catch us with arms wide open in case we shall fall.

Running late as usual to the final landing place Friday was, uh entertaining is a good word to use because right now my emotions lack a grip on the formal English language and vocabulary. Ive been a blithering mess since I woke this morning at 7. Tears have been streaming down my face like rapid fire burning my eyes to pink and used up Visine bottles.

Last night really happened.

I nearly made a silent escape the first time somewhere around 1:00 am. I grabbed my purse, put my coat on, rushed down the stairs, and let the cold rightfully smack me on the face. Turning the key and ignoring the seat belt law there was a tap on my window.

You cant leave. Theres a dance off going on in there.
My lip began to quiver, You saw what just happened.

He moved to my passenger seat and wrapped words convincing me to enjoy the party and ignore the present situation. I locked the car and headed up the stairs I would run back down an hour later unable to see straight, not from drinking as I had stopped at 3 drinks somewhere around 11:00 pm, the tears were my broken legs and worn out teddy bear pain

I was tired of trying to say Im sorry because lets face it, its never really enough.

The Drummer ran after me down the stairs grabbing my arm and telling me I was in no state to drive. Hed drive me home and lets go grab a bite and figure this out type of thing

Im stubborn like a floundering fish hooked and reeled in not wanting to die yet wanting it at the same time. I pulled free and headed to the car when my name was called from the balcony. Knowing myself and not quite remembering, I probably threw my hand in the air and all he saw was the back of it.

Second time around in the car I checked the rear view mirror to see if my water proof mascara was working when the passenger door opened again. This time the Ex Frat Man was inside my car for a solid hour wiping my tears telling me tomorrow would be better and to much alcohol was involved.

Eventually I arrived home wondering if I should email Tiffany when the phone rang not once, twice, three times. I opened two bottles of water and fell fast asleep hoping tomorrow would be better. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. It was to be The Best F*&^%5*^ Christmas Party Ever. Minus the drama, it was.

The Christmas Party Ever.jpg


  1. well, sometimes we create more drama than is necessary, and sometimes we crave the drama which hurts us. have a better weekend.

  2. If John hasn’t given you any grief for that pic, he should. Have you taken a good look at it?

  3. I don’t know what to say, that won’t sound trite. I hope that you have/had a better weekend from there.

    Also, I hope that you enjoy FOB. I do know, however, that LV won’t hold quite so much drama.


  4. If it makes you feel better, your post, as usual, was extremely well-written. You have a very unique voice that always leaves me wanting more…

  5. Shouldn’t Bill O’Reilly be complaining about F*&^%5*^ Christmas Parties instead?

  6. I blame this on Kwanzaa.

  7. If I lived in Houston, you’d have salt, sweets and the newest copy of US Weekly right now. I’ve found that this combo is a great salve for most of life’s ailments. If nothing else, it’s a nice distractions. 🙂

    Hope you’re back in true Sass form soon.

  8. why is it random comments on a gosh darn it blog make me feel better?

  9. “And I wriggle like a fish caught on dry land
    And I struggle to avoid any help at hand
    I sink like a stone that’s been thrown in the ocean
    My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion
    Stop before you start
    Be still my beating heart”, to quote Sting, the hippest philosopher I can think of this morning.

    Did you notice, though, how many friends came to make sure you were safe? I think you have more and better roots than you realize.

  10. Because you love us.

  11. Sorry to read about your night, Sass, but enjoyed the way you wrote it. I think it’s lovely that you have friends who have their eye on your well-being.

  12. Looking at those guns of yours, you should have just kicked his ass

  13. Funny you should mention that about the random comments from strangers/bloggers. It does seem to make a difference often. Sounds like you had a rough weekend, but don’t fret too much. There will plenty more weekends to come. Redemption will be yours.

  14. I hate drama. But I am glad it was the best party without it all.

  15. Nice blog. I found you on Jersey Girl.

  16. i desperately love the idea of being a rootless bohemian. what a lovely description.


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