Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | January 24, 2006

Biosphere

Hanging up the phone, I wrongfully cut him off. Itís the nature Iíve spent years nurturing. I own it.

He was about to use a euphemism that would send me running for the hills. To much. Too Soon.

I hold the earphones up to my senses and twirl my fingers round and round the chord. I think of winds and guitars echoing over a warm summer sky as I dance, fresh, clean in the evening dusk. A free indulgence.

I’m curled up in a big plush chair and enjoying the presence of solitude. I don’t fit in here. My IPOD is muffing my ears to the sound of outside existence. I feel more beautiful here, more alive. I feel so, less alone. I could do this, like it was my second fulltime job. Sit in a coffee shop of the non commercial kind that is. Thereís a man in the corner with rimmed glasses writing in a chocolate leather bound journal. His phone rings every third sip. Silently he talks, hangs up, and mumbles something about brainstorming. The woman to my left is sitting behind a mound of medical books. Sheís lost in study and talking to herself. The man behind me is dressed in day attire. Iím resisting the urge to loosen his tie for him. The couple in the corner is discussing the film that plunges one into a world demonstrating quantum uncertainty. I know this film. Itís boring and captivating processing the neurological process and perpetual shifts.

My eyes are stinging while I eavesdrop on conversations questioning how crushed together we sit and so far removed.

I calm down rolling steamed milk over the roof of my mouth, listen to the sounds of Ana Nalick, up the volume and escape back to the story I am going to sell. Tomorrow. It’s hot in here. I take off my top shirt in a Herbal Essence way. Inside: sunshine, track lighting, sweet smells, bright colors. Outside: Cheap food disguised as healthy, sex sells shops, Paris design stores, and church. Itís Middle America out there. Itís me.

Life-giving instead of life-draining. They all look that way to me, too.

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Responses

  1. Jess, don’t take this the wrong way, but…
    Your writing is like a riptide or an undertow. The part that sucks you in and out to sea is hidden under the surface. And, yes, what you don’t see is what will “kill” you, so to speak. When I read your writing, I always feel like there’s a back story that you don’t let anyone else see. That little part that you reserve deep inside yourself and hide from the world.
    Whoever you share that with is privledged and lucky indeed.

  2. Great description of coffee shop life. I felt like I was there with you. Such an interesting micro culture that has come into existence with the coffee shops that have sprung up on every block. I like the writing!

    Scott

  3. what was the film?

  4. You have an awesome way of describing things — even the most mundane scenes are made interesting and fascinating when you talk about them. Oh and also? Your email hates me. I got bounced again yesterday…

  5. I’ve read this twice now. It glistens, it really does. It makes me smile.

    It’s middle America out there.

    Isn’t that grand?

  6. The movie they were discussing is What The Bleep Do We Know?

  7. Where is your video?? I was so looking forward to it…: )

    C.

  8. I LOVE this post. It’s amazing how much better things are if we just shift our perception to the world being life-giving instead of life-draining. I love that idea. Just what I needed to hear.

  9. that is a weird movie. i only saw a few minutes of it but i want to rent it.

  10. I know the movie, it’s fast-food physics (not a compliment) and nowhere near as interesting as people-watching.

  11. Oh no you didn’t… you didn’t just make an Herbal Essence reference did you? I can’t let my mind wander down that path this early in the morning. It did paint a great picture though. Eavesdropping is a hobby of mine. Check out my profile if you don’t believe me. It’s so much fun to be a fly on the wall. Take care.

  12. I thought you looked familiar.

  13. You actually talk on the phone?

  14. You really have a talent my girl.

  15. What I think about in Starbucks, you wrote so eloquently. Captivating, Jess.

  16. I love it when you write this way! Amazing ūüôā

  17. Hey there- thanks for the comment on my site. I did run Houston and plan on the Rodeo Run. I just read your post about your IT band. I have the same thing- it sucks!!!!

  18. You should come up to Dallas and run the Rock, or the Race for the Cure.. You would have a god time.. Hope all is well with you!

    C.

  19. You’re missing your calling. Travel, see the world, and bring it all back here with your eloquence and beauty. A spirit such as yours needs more than the life you describe…


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