Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | January 27, 2006

Fried Green Tomatoes At the Whistle Stop Cafe

It may only be exercise. But the kneepads, elbow pads, and helmet are fun to wear. They make me feel adventurous and ready to take on the objects in the rear view mirror while I stare into the windshield, of course.

This morning my body was sore as I drug myself out of bed, not a sensation I enjoy. I turned the knob of the shower head waiting as the water pressure went from hot to cold I started thinking about the email I woke to and immediately forwarded to my sister-in-law.

ďI hope youíre not working to hard. Just remember no matter how hard youíre working your cat is at home sleeping on the furniture your hard work has paid forÖ.. Iíll pick you up Sunday at noon that way weíll have plenty of time to paint our chests before the 2:30 tip off.Ē

Speaking of Jo I figured she was hungry, that or her persistent meowing was the best audition for American Idol to date. Walking into the kitchen the caffeine my mouth guzzled moments before had not made its way to my left arm. It dug into the edge of the marble counter top. Numbness vibrated while my mouth released four letter words cursing nerve endings. Couldnít I have been one of those born without nerve endings and could I develop this condition? After a brief internal debate I decided this condition was too much of a concept for me to begin training for this early in the morning.

I tried to erase the whole email from my mind. After all, the last time I took a chance ended in disappointment of someone not being who they boasted they are.

This is where Soleil calls and puts me on BLOG PATROL

As I dried my hair and put on my makeup for the days worth I realized I was exorcising my demons of previous serious relationships. There havenít been that many. Only two, okay three serious ones that left a branding of lessons learned and healed scar tissue.

This is where my siblings are grateful those relations ended short of coal never turning into diamonds

So am I. Though I donít regret any of them being over, there are still plenty of issues to obsess about. As well as many cringe worthy moments.

Iíve decided the past, no matter how unchangeably brutal, is just that. In the past and the one thing I truly own. I was young and so far removed from that former self. It was a prologue to the reality of a dreamlike relationship I will embark on. Sooner rather than later. I am tougher and wiser because of my mistakes and obviously I will never repeat them.

Ahem.

Maybe itís a stroke of good luck or truth of a good old accurate fortune cookie but, Iím a different person in other ways Ė more confident, secure, sexier, and settled. Not objectively per se but relative to when I was 25, 26, 27, and early 28.

I recovered from my morning mind bender and took stock of recent accomplishments.

* Eschewed self-control and diplomacy for knee jerk reactions

Check

*Alienated friend identified as enemy

Check

*Corporate key alley acknowledged

Check

*Future plans with friends

Check

* Resort to ambush and juvenile name calling in lieu of reasoned mature conversation.

Ah, check.

This is where I begin to question the neccessity of helmets

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Thank you Idgy Threadgood. Grateful for night-owl reading. You rock.

  2. Ha! You’re funny today, Jess! (I hope you meant to be at least a little funny, ’cause this made me smile and chuckle.)

    I understand about pasts, though, there are times when I think there aren’t enough novenas in the world for me to feel clean again. Still, what can we do but work at it, a little at a time, until things change? Who am I today is born from my past. I don’t ever want to forget it, though, I never want to repeat it, either.
    Helmets aren’t such a bad idea, especially when talking about pasts. But, I’ll leave that bit for now and give you two aphorisms to chew on for a bit.
    “My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I don’t want to go in there alone.”
    “Change is inevitable, but direction is optional.”

    Great post. Great gal.

  3. I hope you find someone amazing. You deserve much better than what you’ve had.

  4. more sexy, huh? well, i have found that most women gain sexy with confidence.

    and i believe that sometimes we just look too hard for something. like staring at a hidden stereo picture; you have to defocus to find what’s there for you.

  5. Sometimes I read your post and I don’t really know what the hell you’re trying to say. This wasn’t one of those times.

    The scars make a person tougher, stronger, and hopefully wiser, but at a cost. The scarred area is deadened so that it can no longer feel. How many scars can one accumulate before all feeling is gone?

  6. Excellent post, love what you say about keeping the past in the rearview. Some things we can not change so we mine as well move on right???

    I keep telling myself that anyway.

    Scott

  7. What you said coupled with Okie’s comment rendered me free of any meaningful comments. You made me laugh though, and also? I think your recent accomplishments are admirable and difficult — you done good girl!!

  8. “life is tough, wear a helmet.”-dennis leary(i think)

  9. When you come to Denver to play with Amber and I, I’ll have her do Helmet Voice for you and then you’ll understand the need for aforementioned helmet.
    “Resort to ambush and juvenile name calling in lieu of reasoned mature conversation.” This line nicely summed up my entire romantic life. To the point where when I start telling a friend of mine about any guy, she starts singing the Beastie Boys ‘Sabatoge’.

  10. I try to remember the past is the past. We can’t change it. It’s good to keep it in the rearview as you say. Have a good weekend!

  11. This is where you had me, had me, had me, lost me yet again.

  12. These are all the things that went through your head this morning? It takes me unitl at least noon to start talking in complete sentences.

  13. Planatation – Towanda thanks you as well

    N.G. That’s why it’s always a good idea to pack heat in rough neighborhoods

    Justin – Thanks my friend.

    D.B. Chew on this: who’s losing who in their focus abilities?

    Okie – I can understand I may lose some in what I write, it’s because i write from my heart about whatever is going on with me at the moment. It makes sense to ME and sometimes that’s all i need.
    Go stand in a rain storm and feel it on your skin. That’s how you’ll know you are alive – especially when the clouds finally break (that sounds like a country song)

    Scott – Your posts over the last several days prove you are on track.

    Amber – Thanks – we both done did.

    Ghost – It was Leary or Miller. Both Dennis’s equally have a dry witty intelligence.

    Kendra – I chuckled at the sabatoge reference – that’s another post or month of posts entirely.

    Cheryl – Like you said, “We can only work on the future.”

    T.H. Sometimes we go from bad to worse and then later back to better. Helmet or no helmet it’ life after all.

    Rico -All the more reason to begin text messaging.

  14. What a flowing post. I don’t know anything about you, but your words tickled me today.

  15. Confucius say: those who walk around wearing knee, elbow and head protection only run into person wearing similar protection.

    Yoda says: If you go to sleep laying on your arm, a numbness problem you will have.

    I say: Don’t take yourself too seriously and you’ll be just fine.

  16. I needed this post today. I’ve been mulling over a past relationship for the last couple of days. I shouldn’t…it wasn’t worth it. But I couldn’t stop myself nonetheless.

  17. Checking in. Hope you’re weekend was a good one. I’m sure I’ll be reading about it.

  18. I dont think we can ever get rid of the immature name calling. Jerkstore. See, that was fun.

  19. Like poetry ūüôā


Categories

%d bloggers like this: