Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | February 3, 2006

like it’s a bad thing

Trying to tell Kristina you’d rather stay in for the evening then dawn your heels and snug Jean Paul Damage is like telling Bush you don’t think we should go to war.

Gaspy breath. “Why? Ha. Ha. Girl you crack me up. My phone battery is dying. I’ll see you soon.”

On my particularly stubborn nights I drive the point home with, “Tomorrow I HAVE to and I CAN’T afford to….”

She delays. When she does respond, it’s as though she’s just accepted she’ll have to do without her left arm for the evening.

One truly can hear the sadness in her voice.

“Oh. It’d be more fun with you. But…I understand.”

Yesterday drained me and frankly, I didn’t want to do the dance.

Dating was the topic of the evening. A member of the group wanted to know what she should give the man she’s been dating four months for Valentines Day. Cologne, a shirt, a photo and poem, she doesn’t cook so that’s out, those all seem so obvious. Your original suggestions appreciated here.

The conversation drifted into dating and fun. Here’s the thing about dating that Kristina put so humorously and insightful. The majority of the women in our group have never had a bad date. The conversation tends to flow and laughter in sues. We can enjoy ourselves anywhere….well practically. We’re all very rainbows and butterflies with an 86’d side of grey. I was bent over laughing in convulsions as Jackie relayed her message,

“I was going on all these dates and having a blast. They were so much fun. After a while the guys would just go away. I’d get all depressed and sad. Then I realized it wasn’t them. They werent the one’s who were fun it was me. All I needed to have fun was me. Without me there is no fun.”

How true that is Kristina. Thank-you for being you and making the fight fun.


  1. how about a nice candlelit evening at her place with eatzi’s?

  2. “…Then I realized it wasn’t them. They werent the one’s who were fun it was me. All I needed to have fun was me. Without me there is no fun.”

    Now, that’s about the best dating advice ever!

    As for gifts… You know what the best gift I was ever given was? Being asked out, taken out, and taken care of. She should ask him out to a little, out-of-the-way, hole-in-the-wall place, then pick him up, and take him to dinner and whatever else they’d normally do. I’d suggest “Paddy Thai”, but they’re closed, so, maybe “Golden Room” or “Cavatore’s”, if they’re not already booked up. If he has any sense, he’ll be so flattered that she cares he won’t hardly know what to do with himself. Or, maybe that’s just me… (We won’t mention the dream about the Aztec pyramid and the gherkins…)

  3. To be honest, I’ve never really cared what the gift was – so long as it was thoughtful.

  4. I agree with Network Geek. Best dating advice ever. Does she have any insight into why I’ve consistently dated emotional cripples for the past two years? Because I’d love to know the answer to THAT.

  5. i think that all obvious thoughts on gifts for valentines day are boring, i spend all day teaching boring old men how to be romantic again for their wives and to do something that is not just cliche romantic like roses and diamonds but to do something that is specifically romantic to the person. so this man who is very close to me is a cop and very into his guns both for work and hunting, but i don’t know enough about guns to buy him one or to buy him some cool attachments or something and ammo just doesn’t seem romantic. so this year for valentines day he is taking me on a hot air balloon ride, and then i am taking him to a very cool shooting range where i have rented him some big old posh gun that he thinks is very cool but doesn’t own, to use for the day and then you know we will go out to dinner and there will be champagne and my favorite flowers not roses.

  6. A gift for a four month old relationship should be something simple. The cologne and/or shirt is a great idea as is going out somewhere. It really doesn’t have to be anywhere to eat. One time I took a date to the rooftop parking lot of the galleria (years back, don’t know if it’s still accessible after hours) and we sat in my truck and stared across the city at night and chatted.

  7. Seventh!

  8. Hey babe! I hope you have a great weekend!.


  9. you know, just once, id like to be the first person to comment. just once.

    i dont know about advice. i am painting for my wife. and cooking.

  10. valentine’s? what’s valentines?

  11. Best gift that I ever got was a journal from a girl I was dating when I was 17 years old. Still keep one to this day. Would have to be for the right guy though.

    Sports tickets are always a good call….


  12. You have to make the best of it; it’s the only way to survive it.

  13. Red,
    Where have you been hiding? Hit me up.

  14. I asked my son G:

    4 month relationship
    valentines gift from her to you?

    G’s Response:

    Do I like her or am I just using her for sex?

    M – Give me an answer for both scenarios.-

    Like her – anything would be welcome 🙂
    Sex – BJ

    And so, an insight into the male mind….

    Where did I go wrong?

    I did my best, I really did 🙂


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