Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | February 7, 2006

throwing in the towel

The day didn’t pan out exactly as I planned. I woke with the unpleasant feeling that something very bad had occurred. As my brain slid into consciousness the cold air nipped at my toes prying for action. A distant memory was finding its way to the moment. My Mother’s voice piped in, “Rise and Shine and Sing God Your Glory Glory.” I grabbed the pillow and threw it over my head stuffing the memory to deeper recesses.

This was going to be a tough twenty-four. Not even 6:30 a.m. and I was already getting that sense of being a soldier keeping watch in the night. A burning desire to investigate this train of thought quickly gripped me. I needed more evidence to build a case for either side. I couldn’t just remain paralyzed and rattled by uncertainty. The possibilities were endless requiring to much energy when there was a world to contend with.

I had my agenda.

Ronda calls on her drive into work. We discuss life altering events and matters of random mundane items we can’t wait to share while I’m returning emails from the men I work with.

An hour later I’m out the door and bouncing from appointment to appointment.

Karma’s going to get you when you flirt through the deal.

I should probably have held off from the mental celebration. My lack of total concentration of walking while explaining functionality led me to miss the counter my right arm reached for. My left hand rested on my hip finding comfort in the way my hip bone said “Hi.”

I tumbled sideways into a row of chairs revealing the upper lace of my panty hose and nearly knocking a tablet PC off the counter. My arms reached for balance and safety but they were no match for gravity. My skirt scrunched around the width of my waist as my shirt slid open and I “Taraized” the man.

I whispered, “Oh God” as I fell into the set of chairs placed against the wall. I moved fast desperately trying to renegotiate my body with the vertical pressure of my weight.

He put down his clipboard and outstretched his arms while unsure if he should laugh, wink, or reveal genuine concern. “Are you okay?”

Blushing and trying to play it off, “I do that at least five times a day.”

He wasn’t buying the line I was selling and frankly, neither was I.

One ice pack, hat, and dark sunglasses for yours truly please.


  1. Ha! That is some good comedy.

  2. Lucky bastard! Er, I mean, you poor thing! I hate when that happens and someone is there to see. Of course, you now understand why the kilt is no longer the height of men’s fashion. Did you at least get a round of applause?

  3. My wife sings that same song in the morning. I can see why you stuff the pillow over your face. Now I have that stuck in my head. Happy Wednesday.

  4. Look at it this way girl, your Lucy-like acrobatics made for some fine writing and story telling. I suppose Rhonda is your Ethel?

  5. LOL. You poor thing!!!

    Come on…if that didn’t sell him, I don’t know what will.

  6. Ummmmmm… okay so like I lost my concentration after the “lacey part of your pantyhose” line and the “taraize” stuff… Im a guy… its what we do


  7. Want to get away?

  8. tease.

  9. ha ha..sorry jess…if you did’t get hurt, that’s funny…if you want to take your clothes off for men there are places for that! ;-)~

  10. Oh I’m sorry Jess! It is pretty funny though…you gotta admit. You’re so funny.

  11. Dude, you okay from the fall?? Hmmm trying to think of something to say that doesn’t sound too much like a “Guy thought” hahaha. Did you make the sale?


  12. oh my gosh – you poor thing! Thankfully, I’ve never had that happen and hopefully never will.

  13. You know how we always joke about being in one another’s head? Well now it seems we’re sharing grace and panche as well. I feel your pain…both literally and figuratively.

  14. I’m sure it wasn’t really that bad, but I like the way you tell it. 😉

  15. Interesting story – and I learned a new word: taraized.

  16. Sounds like something that would happen to your truly. Or a commercial about needing a vacation, or both. I hope you didn’t hurt yourself…

  17. Tell me he cute…. and that you closed the deal!

  18. that you can laugh at this is the definition of poise. despite the fall, you are the epitome of grace and charm, sass. i hope theres no bruising.

  19. OK, so you made a fool o yourself. But you did it with style and panache. No half measures here! Whwere others might have stopped with the peek of the stocking tops, or flashing a bit too much cleavage while falling, you went the whole hog!

    At least tell us the guy was cute. It might be worth it if you got a phone number out of the deal. At the very least, I’m sure your inadvertant over exposure made his day.

    Did anyone get it on video?


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