Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | February 12, 2006

crystal ball looking fuzzy

Perhaps you don’t understand. The Weather Channel isn’t something you just flip through and watch for three minutes, or as long as it takes to figure out if you should wear a sweater or grab an umbrella. The Weather Channel has changed the way we think about the outside world and travel hitherto.

There’s something strange that emits from that channel 27. It draws me in for hours while I’m sitting on the couch reading a book. A spike in a voice distracts my eyes from my black and white company thinking, ‘why is someone always pregnant on this station?’ and ‘Wow, its 53 degrees in Boise. Isn’t that some kind of record?’

Early Sunday morning I realized this fascination was indeed inherited. We arrived home post Gala. After I was twirled, how I love being twirled. After I unabashedly rolled my eyes. After the woman with really bad plastic surgery walked by and my Father whispered in my ear, “Shouldn’t she have 101 Dalmatians chasing after her?” After I laughed at all his jokes and watched him nervously pace pre-speech. After my Mother saw a man shamelessly trying to flirt with me and asked him where his wife was. And after my Mother once again said, “You are the Girl With The Curl.” The three of us were captivated alternating wine and water curled on my couches wondering how much snow they would face on their return home. She shook her head and said, “I was nervous when you were talking to BLANK,” snickering to herself and shaking the wine in her glass, “Child, you’ll never change. My Tornado.”

My instructions for the evening were simple. Nothing to tight, short, or sexy by any means. Friday afternoon when I finally took a ten minute shopping break it wasn’t the Hillary Swank meets J’Lo dress I dawned Saturday night. The dress slid over my hips like water drips from a faucet. Slow, deliberate, and smooth. The slightly conservative piece I saw at the store had transformed to something less. My Mother pinned the dress to my thong preventing any embarrassing moments. OH. Never thought I’d write the last sentence.


Sunday afternoon my nieces, Father, and brother were hundreds of yards ahead on an afternoon walk through “Snake Alley.” My Mother, sister-in-law, nephew, and I fell far behind while discussing the merits of childhood lessons learned through film and cult classics. I wondered if the lessons film attempted to teach were able to cut through or if the children tried to emanate characters through playful actions. My Mother was reiterating lessons the movie she took her grandchildren to see, Nanny McPhee. It placated through visual ascetics using moles to disappear upon each child’s growth and emotional evolution. Nanny McPhee repeated,

“When you need me but don’t want me; I’ll be there. When you want me but don’t need me; I won’t.”

Looping my arm through hers I snuggled in close as to shield my body from the wind and said, “I don’t need you; but I still want you.”

Like a Mother does she said, “You still need me.”

I want them there during all those important moments but, sometimes I can’t predict the random rain storm. Life’s unpredictable and get’s you like that no matter how much planning, analyzing or predicting we put into it. Sunday afternoon I indeed needed her and wanted nothing more than to lay my head on her lap.

Who would have predicted that?

(To my sisters: make a snow angel for me)


  1. I ::heart:: that photo.

  2. um…nice dress.

  3. Good lord Sass, do you really need to be THAT hot?

  4. “Who would have predicted that?”

    Only the people who know you, Sass. Most likely, your Mother. Any woman that’s wise enough to pin your dress to your thong is surely wise enough to have predicted that.
    Hope you had a good time with the family. Sounds like it was.

  5. Nice dress, Jess. I hope your family got home safely.

  6. Lookin’ good Jess!

  7. “my black and white company”–I like that.

    I’ve noticed all the procreation among TWC ladies as well. I love “Storm Stories”.

    You looked great.

  8. Look at how hot you look! 🙂 Great dress! Also, I’m gonna need an email with the ex update -STAT.

  9. Kendra,
    Running into an ex was funny and what a night to do so. I’ll be emailing you in a few after i finish laughing at my coworker telling me to look up ridiculous web sites for v-day.

  10. Oh the good old Weather Channel. I get sucked into that station like a four year old watching Barney. I think it’s the way they point out the most obscure towns during their national report. “Today in Egan, Louisiana… it will be 73 degrees with 98% humidity. Those of you in Rocky Mount, North Carolina… it will a glorious 65 and breezy”.

    That dress looks fantastic on you by the way.

  11. I would imagine people on that station are pregnant because it’s too cold to be outside so they have to find some way to occupy their time.

  12. so where was that guy’s wife?

  13. Damn Jess, that dress looks fantastic on you. I havent wanted to be a dress for a while but right now, I do. Holla!.

  14. you look smashing! so does your mama – I enjoyed the story!

  15. Wow, you look gorgeous in that dress. Excellent job.

    As for the weather channel I fell the same way… it just draws me right in. I don’t know why, but it is great!


  16. I love that picture. I think we’ll always need our moms in some way. That’s part of what makes them special.

  17. I know you’ve heard this already, and I forgot to mention, you do look exquisite.

  18. I certainly wasn’t fishing for compliments but thank-you everyone. what struck me in this photo was the look on my Mothr’s face. She was less than pleased with my choice of dress.

  19. Forgive me for sounding like an idiot here, but who’s the girl in the dress there? Is that you? If so, wow. Nice! And the dress doesn’t look bad either. 😉

  20. No wonder you had men all over you…look how cute you are! And love the dress!

  21. You look great in that dress and your mother’s face certainly expresses her pleasure in your choice.

  22. You look amazing.


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