Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | April 26, 2006


I’m sitting on a confrence call thumbing through a womans magazine and listening to the droll of the higher uppers. Its one of those magazines that is supposed to teach you SECRETS OF A SEX GODDESS, FIVE MOVES FOR THE PERFECT ABS, TOO CLINGY OR JUST CLOSE? , and my two favorite, SUPERMODELS KEEP IT REAL- BEAUTY TRICKS, A VICTORIA SECRETS MODEL AT HOME IN BRAZIL. In Brazil? So the modeling gig is her day job?

Paging through the script of what the cultural norm is supposed to look like reminds me more of an Amazon genetic experiment gone awry. In all honesty, its pretty excruciating to think we should strive to be of a Perfect Nonsense like the models on the page. Its like society is dragging us forward and hauling us backward simultaneously; as if I am living the moment when my divided loyalties are ripping me apart and taking off with their ripened halves. If I succumb to either the forward or backward, Ill come out in all these messy pieces. I need a compass needle to find my way out of this one.

Yes Boss, Im here.


  1. Darn Models! i dont like their perfect make ups, in perfetly photo-shopped pictures…. hahaha

  2. They don’t even look like that. It’s dizzying, all that push and pull.

  3. What are you doing to me!? Brazilian Victoria’s Secret models? I gotta run to the store…

  4. The second I read Victoria’s Secret I was reeled in… I am a big fan!! : ) I know you’re not that busy today…..!!


  5. I forget what movie it is, but is says that models are the perfect people to date. They are thin, don’t eat a lot, and travel all the time so you never get sick of them. I remember laughing at the notion. It sucks that there are all of these huge stereotypes that people try and live up to. Us men certainly don’t help….


  6. For me, the irony is that, if you wanted, you could probably pass for one of those models. At least, from your pictures. And, as long as you didn’t accidentally show your charm and wit. Somehow, though, I doubt you could keep that under wraps for long. The “sassy” just leaks out! 😉

  7. So what you’re saying is what women seem to want and the ideals they seem to represent as to an “ideal” often are confusing and contrary. Gosh, I think men have been saying this for years. However, I am always glad to add another member to the tribe.

  8. The irony is of course that it’s not all of society…while advertising aimed at men sets a picture they believe men desire…advertising in the woman’s glossy’s firmly uses female feedback to tailor its ads…So women are telling women that this is the way they should look…

    Doesn’t make me feel like such a sexiest pig now ~grin~ excuse me I have the latest VS catalog to look at…

  9. ummm….indiana i don’t think it’s a male female thing at all. Both men and women run the corporations that publish the magazines.

  10. love the post title and your attention span. glad u have your priorities straight.

  11. Maybe she went all the way to Brazil to get an authentic Brazilian. 😉

  12. Do I have to be the one to stand up for supermodels here?

    They have feelings too.

  13. Thomas you’re a nut.

  14. I agree. The social repercussions of today’s publishing trends are creating a unhealthy and socially stigmatizing perception of women. But the sex tips do work occasionally…

  15. I don’t think any of those women are gorgeous at all. Perhaps if I could see them without the ton of makeup and airbrush then I would reconsider. I prefer the “real” look. I tend to notice there are many beautiful women by just driving through downtown during the daytime, or dining out at chilis in the evening, or going to the Toyota Center for a Motley Crue concert.

  16. this is one of my favortie sass posts.

  17. hey, male athletes take steroids.


  19. i went to 1 of the biggest modelling agencies the other day with a friend of mine who’s modelling for them. he introduced me to some of the models there… some of ’em are definitely beautiful, and the others are just photogenic, i think, ‘cuz in real life they look plain. but for 1 thing, the women are all tall and thin

  20. that moondog beer you drink is nasty……bon jovi for ever!

  21. I agree with Thomas. Models are people too. Really really hot people.

  22. I have to agree with the last comment, but I’ve seen a lot of really, really hot people who are not models. My question is who do we blame society? Men? Women?

  23. This is fantastic. I love how you juxtapose the “glamorous” magazine with your complex thoughts. And then bring us back to that mundane setting of the office.


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