Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | May 9, 2006

five year old genius

Iíve just finished watching a GE commercial and decided I really want an Elephant. Not a full blown adult elephant, thatíd be too much commitment and rearranging of furniture. Who are we kidding? Iím not ready for that.


Iím not usually a very good liar. Whatever Iím thinking shows on my face. I hope this doesnít play on my face as in, ďHey you Half Wits youíve put handcuffs on Casper.Ē I hope I only look dizzy and confused, I certainly feel it. I want an elephant to sit in my heart, my head, and feed peanuts to while it looks at me with kind eyes that lack the brevity of a one night stand and has the endurance of Lance Armstrong during his training days.

So after a mishap, after advising someone, after dancing during the hours I should have been sleeping, after running and a visit to the gym, after dealing with “The Monsters”, after watching The Derby, after all was said and done, I stopped. And realized I really may be the stupidest girl alive.

Saturday morning I picked myself up. More bruises. Oh good. It wasnít going to be mere high-necked T-shirts this time; I was going to need an all-over bodysuit plus a bag over my head. It had slid in easily through the gaps in the impedimenta (sorry, this stuff brings out the worst in my vocabulary, itís like every bad novel and hyperbolic myth Iíve ever read crowding round to haunt me in three dimensions) trying to run with me into the rain. But this time I stopped. Iím learning to see things I havenít seen before. Iím learning to listen to the words of my friends instead of being a stubborn bull on a train to disaster. Iím learning to not settle for less than I give. Iím learning that you should be as good to me, if not bettah, and I should never question where you stand. Iím learning to look out for me, in a twisted way, Iím looking out for you too.

Tired, but alive is going to have to do.

I’ll start making sense again one of these days.


  1. Here here!

    Good for you. Is itjust me or does it seem like we’re always going through the same things?

    hang in there.

  2. There are different guys out there Jess, just like I know there are different woman outthere. The question is will we know them when we see them?

  3. Oh darlin, you make perfect sense babycakes.

    “Iím learning to not settle for less than I give.” That’s something we could all stand to learn.

  4. All true.

  5. makes sense to me…hang in there.

  6. You are going to be just fine my friend.


  7. I really want a baby whale. Maybe we can share?

  8. thats hot. oh wait i mean its hot out

  9. Elephants are good tax-write offs; you should think about it.

  10. I’m the goddamn conductor on the train to disaster. All aboard! ūüôā I relate to this post so much…but you knew that.

  11. Well, it all depends on whether or not that elephant was a metaphor or someone slipped you acid some time this week. If the first, then it makes sense, but if the second, then, it makes a different kind of sense.

    I don’t have to understand it all to be fascinated.

  12. Baby steps, deary. Or in this case, baby elephant steps.

  13. i think we all secretly want elephants. and i’m glad you’re looking out for you. keep on keepin’ on.

  14. I loved this post.

  15. I hope you feel better soon. I know you will. Your outlook on things is so beautiful and inspiring. You exude confidence and you are so full of life. Only the best will come for you. It might take time, but it will.


  17. Don’t go and start making sense on us Jess, if you did we’d have to stop reading! Sorry it’s been so long, I still read your stuff, just haven’t had much time to reply! ūüôā


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