Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | May 23, 2006

rollercoaster designer

Ive spent the evening on the phone with two friends who feel their lives are train wrecks. This is completely inaccurate. A runaway train is an accident. Them? Theyve jumped in front of the tracks and tied themselves down in front of the speeding engine. The out come was predicted and intellectually understood, yes. But emotionally understood, eh? They decided to take a chance because even when you know, you dont want to know. How do I know this? Ive done it, and so have you. Theres still some completely illogical part of us that believes if you want Superman to show up there has to be someone worth saving.


Lets face it, love is difficult, its not kind. At first its like visiting a vacation at the end of your day. You seek out the text message and email haunting your eyes until the words arise then suddenly youre overcome with delight, cool breezes, and swimming in a sea of Christmas morning delight. Then suddenly you find yourself out of new gifts, unknown conversation, and its now time to clean up all the debris and shredded Christmas paper. This feeling is rather like being trapped in a burning house. Your sixth sense kicks in, you cant see because of the smoke, you cant yell because your mouth is covered with an oxygen mask, you cant hear because the fires roar, and you cant touch because that will be the end of you. I imagine this is what Auntie Em must have felt like when her home, with everything she had known, was swept away in one fierce storm, there was no warning, it swooped right in and engulfed her.

I think Bruce Willis said it best in a series of movies, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker

Thats just love, life, and the laughter that fills in the cracks.

And yeah, Yippee-ki-yay, were all holding on tight.



  1. A woman who quotes Die Hard? Be still, my heart.

  2. having tied my own self to the tracks more than once, i can relate. you’re right, we all know, but we also hope. we hope superman will come, we hope the train will stop, we hope we’re doing the right thing even when we know we’re not…

  3. i used to work so hard, stoke the fire to life, then not sit anywhere near it. now, i bask in the warmth of that fire. yeah, i have to work to maintain it, but its worth it. even when the conversation is mundane.

  4. But then one sleepy Saturday, she texts you out of blue to brighten your day.

  5. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert EinsteinThat about sums it up for the story of my love life, as I’m sure it is for most people. But I think I like your Bruce Willis quote too. Do you think there’s some logical way we could put those two together and end up with something that makes even a little sense?

  6. Fuck the train. From now on, I’m just going to fly.

  7. I love how we fail to see that so many of the problems in our lives are ones that we have created. Amazing what denial can do for us.


  8. Sounds like you need to convince your friends to go to Vegas too, I leave tomorrow, thank god. I like Reagan’s idea, “try it again motherfucker, it might end up different, Yippee-ki-yay!”–Or not. I’m told (though I very much doubt) it happens when we are not looking.

  9. toilet paper cleans the cracks out… whoo hoo get along little doggie. yippe kai yiii

  10. Croaker — that made me laugh! I like it!!!

    Have fun in Vegas. Wish I could go!

  11. I wish you all could go!

  12. You were in my head, this time. Raincheck cashed.

  13. soooooooo true…and it doesn’t end – ever – I don’t think

  14. be careful. people are reading what you write.

  15. White knuckle all the way!


  17. IN BLUE.

  18. Yeah, love can suck…until you fall in love again and then it’s all rainbows and butterflies.


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