Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | June 19, 2006


I wanted to write to you tonight and hear my own voice because, I miss it. I miss the moments of fun when I surprise myself and question where a sentence came from. I miss the times I unleash on you knowing you have no idea what, or who, I’m talking about.

My need for support edges out my better judgment. I want to tell you how I broke down at a friends house yesterday and danced in the rain. I want to tell you how, between sobs about my niece spending time at the hospital, I’d give my own life and everything I’ve ever loved for my sister and her family to not let her go through this; I want to tell you it all. However, my friends won’t have it, my family won’t allow it, and I am not that open.

I want to pour myself into you and unleash, I need someone for that. And now, I’m feeling the way silence does, you know how it can push in on your ear drums, make your brain swell, and make you deaf?

I cannot begin to tell you the words I want to use; none of them are big enough to bear the weight behind them.


  1. If you’re looking for volunteers, I’m available 24/7.

  2. Yeah, ditto what he said. That is what friends are for, after all.

  3. I don’t know Jess you managed to express a lot with just a few words. I hope everything works out for your niece and that you find the person you can confide in. You dancing in the rain, I bet that is a beautiful site.

  4. I’m sorry to hear about your niece. That’s truly terrible. I hope everything works out, and I hope you find whatever support or comfort you need to help you through this.

  5. go to blogger
    it’ll only take a minute
    start another, anonymous blog
    let it out

  6. go to blogger
    it’ll only take a minute
    start a new, anonymous blog
    what will you call yourself?
    let it out

  7. hugs
    love ya

  8. I can feel what you are feeling just by the words of this post. Well done.


  9. Prayers and strength for you, my friend.

  10. First of all…hugs.

    Second, do what you need to do. Even something like this. And, I hope this helped a bit.

  11. So that explains your absence.

    But once again…here our lives go.

    Your neice…my nephew…all we want to do is throw ourselves into that ‘one man’s’ arms and cry while he holds us. The one man we should be staying away from…

  12. Words often lack the strength, the depth and the real meaning to give over our thoughts and feelings as we would really wish them to be conveyed.

  13. Are you home yet?

  14. its easy to take things hard.

  15. were here.


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