Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | July 17, 2006

About that Helmet

J: You home? I fell down and need you to help me with my back. Soleil, I think I need a helmet

S: Jesssssika Ė you need a bubble. Youíre supposed to wait until after your benefits kick in to injure yourself.

You know how every now and then, you have a moment where your whole life stretches out ahead of you like a forked road, and even as you choose to take a step forward and take a gritty path of destruction youíve got your eyes fixated on the other the entire time, certain youíre about to make a mistake. We make grand sweeping decisions that can affect our whole lives without even realizing it. Like scanning the newspaper headline at a red light, and therefore missing the rogue van that jumps the line of traffic and causes an accident. Entering a coffee shop on a whim and meeting the man you are to marry as heís digging in his pocket for change, sharing a cab with strangers at 2:00 am because youíre to tired to debate about who was in line first, or realizing you know someoneís name before they say it. There are moments in life that take your breath away and those that cause you to taunt death. The strangers I shared a cab with Saturday night could have turned out to be bank robbers on the run, lucky for me, they arenít and Iím sharing emails with one of them as I write this.

Fire and hope are connected, just so you know. The way the Greeks told it, Zeus put Prometheus and Epimetheus in charge of creating life on Earth. Epi made the animals, giving out bonuses like swiftness, strength, fur, and wings. By the time Prometheus was able to create man, all the best qualities had been given out. He settled with the ability to walk right and gave them logic as food for thought, and he gave them fire for warmth. Zeus became upset and took it away. Prometheus saw his pride and joy unable to cook, lit a torch from the sun and regiving him fire. Enraged Zeus gave man women creating Pandora and gave her a box she was forbidden to open. As we know from the clichťd phrase, Pandoraís curiosity got the best of her. Plagues, misery, and mischief flew from the box. She was lucky enough to shut it before HOPE escaped; itís the only thing we have to fight the others with.

Ask anyone who has been out of a job, anyone who is walking through a disease, a cancer survivor. Ask any parent, athlete, or politician. They will all tell you itís true. And hope that getting into cabs with perfect strangers wonít wind you up in a ditch.

There is hope in the human spirit, people are infinitely good it’s the fire we have to put out from time to time that’s troublesome.

Iím wavering on being my own guinea pig in this experiment of trying to figure out how much a human body can endure. Waiting for the moment I stop injuring myself, hoping itís just around the corner. Sunday wasnít supposed to end as it did, the part where I tumble head over feet one, two, three, four, five, six times down an escalator. FYI – whoever thought of moving stairs after a wine tasting should be taken out to pasture and put to sleep.

I took a hefty spill yesterday, not the type that allows you to pick yourself up, slap on a band aid, and carry on. No Mam! If you are going to fall down, you might as well fall down on your ass, scrape your back and look as though you were mauled by a tiger or as a friend said, “You look like you had sex with a cougar in a phone booth.”

Escalator + wine tasting + one red headed klutz = a full blown disaster.

This is my back. What you don’t see in the photo is the loss of skin on my arm, bruise on elbow, cut on my shoulder, and the hematoma on my leg.

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Escalator – Ten Points

Klutz – Negative 50 Points

here’s to hoping I stop huting myself so often, or I at least get a better helmet.


  1. Yikes! I hope that doesn’t hurt as bad as it looks.
    Did you at least get to flirt with a nice paramedic or emergency room doc or something?

  2. ahh, sass. i was thinking about this very thing earlier today. my life looks nothing like i imagined it would when i was in highschool.

  3. Do you think a helmet would help? Those look nasty.

  4. Is that blurry part down there what I think it is? I’m sooo bad. Yes dear, you need a helmet. I’m thinking something like Natalie Portman (Sam) in Garden State. Take care of yourself, will ya?

  5. OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!

    That looks terrible. I’m so sorry…

    I think I’d neglect to mention the wine and escalator thing. Sounds much cooler to use the Cougar excuse.

  6. At least you’re still standing. It could have been worse.

  7. I haveto start taking more cabs. Although if I shared one with you I’d probably get the accidently elbow in the eye–not that I’d complain.

  8. Damn! (And I usually say daaamn in a good/she’s super hot/check her out way…but in this photo, it’s more like…damn girl that’s gotta hurt!)

    Kiss to make it feel better. :*

    All better?


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