Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | July 19, 2006

holding hands

Ever walked into a mirror and not realized you were walking into yourself at the time? A few years ago I was in Abercrombie and Fitch on a Friday afternoon babbling on the phone and stepped into a full length mirror sending the slap of body meets surface soaring through the store. The men my eyes were hitched on looked dead with amusement at one another,

Hot Guy 1: “Did you just see that?”
Hot Guy 2: “That was awesome.”

Backing away from the mirror while hiding my own giggle, I quickly left the store.

I’ve met several in my life and sensed this feeling of smacking into myself or a reflection of me I knew before taking in the experience. When I met my best friend from high school, Tiffany, we caught eyes at an afterschool club meeting instantly knowing we were bound by time and circumstance. Ronda and I met under estranged conditions, no man could come between us, our bond was instantaneous. Years before I met Soleil those close to me assumed we knew one another, “Ya know Soleil.”

J: “No, I’ve never met Soleil.”

And now my Mother says, “You’ve been friends with Soleil for a long time.” My only reply is, “Well, Mom…..its SO-lei.”

I answer as if there’s never been a question with all these ladies each time she brings this up. The friendship is bound in a time where hour glasses don’t’ exist. We see only wrinkles, laughter, tears, an ability to take the good, bad, and understand the other’s personalities while knowing their reactions prior to their performance.

I’ve been blessed, not in a holier than though way, in the past two years I’ve met several others I’ve felt this way about. Four, Kendra, Alison, Reagan, Wendi, I met through this silly web site. Kristina & Hillary through Soleil, Cathy & Darren by random chance at a (cough) “friends” house party, Kim walked into Cathy’s bridal shower – within two minutes we were friends…the same with Kim’s BFF Celeste, Britney & Aubrey through Hillary, and Aparna & Agnes I literally bumped into on the dance floor and quickly began sharing random jokes with about those around us. These are my closest gals; we’ll get to my guys later.

Alison and I discuss her Mother, loss of her Father, importance of friends,and everything in between. Ronda tells the story of her ex-husband and settling into Happy. Tiffany tells a story of her amazing son and ability to leave an abusive relationship, Soleil and I discuss her family & her (newly) finding Happy, Reagan discusses heartache & pushing past it, Cathy, Darren, & I talk about settling into their new life, Wendi & Hillary discuss being single and finding a belonging professionally, Britney and I ….well – we mostly make fun of Aubrey (kidding Aubs), Agnes and I joke about me being “The New Jessica Nick Lachey can’t get over.” Kendra, Aparna, Kim, Celeste and I discuss all of the above with some random stories involving pizza and “MIA” thrown in on the weekends next to happenstance…and Ashley.

Each of these ladies laid a path whether they know it or not, they are more than dynamic conversations. Sometimes it’s more about what’s not said, than the spoken word.

Maybe our brains aren’t hardwired to have all these experiences, but to walk through them with those around us.

To those i left out – it’s only because I’m tired and you already know.

All My Love.


  1. You are truly blessed to have such friendships, as are any that can tell similar tales to your own. The friends that I have know that I will ALWAYS be there and that the same holds true for me.
    P.S. It was good to hear from you, even if it was just a sentence.

  2. As I’ve said, you have a great support group and I’m sure you are just as valuable to them as they are to you. And hey, you used “laid” in a sentence and didn’t have to look it up unlike me.

  3. i’ll hold your hand any day…even if it’s only to keep you from falling down and cracking your skull…

  4. i’ll hold your hand any day…even if it’s only to keep you from falling down and cracking your skull…

  5. Sounds like you have some amazing friends. That is awesome! What would the world be without them in your life?


  6. hey babycakes, (ha, i giggle everytime i type/say that) just want you to know that you are just as important to me and that i thank God every day for “this silly web site”. without it, we may have very well continued to pass one another on every dance floor in this city and i would not have been blessed with the endowment of being in the presence of such grace (ahem) and calling you one of my BFF’s. i heart you.

  7. .::Blushing::. Smooch. Back-at-cha!

  8. A lucky group for sure, makes me want ot move to Texas just to join ;).

  9. i love the mirror analogy you apply to meeting people you have a connection with. clever.

  10. look at a mirror and burp. a loud from the pit of your stomach roar. see what happens next…. if the mirror breaks, well thats 7. if it stays on, but bends because of the papasitos lunch, then you know that you have done something productive.
    if its unaffected then its time fer another mirror…..

  11. GKA – whoever the hell you are. You and your rude comments are fired.


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