Posted by: canaryinacoalmine | November 7, 2006

play as you go

The Mother/Daughter relationship has always been a delicate one for me. The Father/Daughter tie has strengthened over the last decade; she and I occasionally butt heads. “Mother. I’m not discussing this with you. This conversation is over. And for the last time no I am not dating anyone.” She’d glare at me, “But. I was just going to tell you,” I already knew what she was going to say because haven’t I ran the situation over in my own head a million times? “No Mom. This conversation is over. Finished. Complete. Finado. Done. I’m not discussing this with you any further.”

Friday evening I was done hashing an issue with her. We were verbally dancing in a circle as my shoulders were tightening into a noose around my neck. My seven year old niece busted into the living room slicing our conversation spraying silly string all over my Very Holy Mother. She screamed a  half laugh and half cry of confusion while struggling to figure out what was on her. “Ahh. Shannon. Not in the house.” We made our way to the front yard as V.H.M wiped her hands across her trousers removing the string. I leant a helping hand wiping her clean. The humor of the scene loosened as I doubled over in laughter fighting the urge to call her Medusa. The string clung like a wig to her head. She took off her sweater and handed it to me misreading the sight I took in. A half hour earlier my V.H.M  informed me she was fat. “Yeah Mom you’re huge,” I retorted removing her sweater.

“I know. I’ve never been this huge.” The truth is my Very Holy Mother has never been more than a size 6. She’s the type of woman that complains when her finger is swollen from to much salt additive. She was complaining due to water weight. Perhaps the average family would shy away from this matter, console the patient and let her know that it was indeed in her head and she can’t see what everyone else can. There is no tip toeing or walking on eggshells in this family. My brother and I dove in. “Yeah Mom. You’re huge. I can’t believe you made it out of the house. Is that a shirt or a house coat,” I joked.

“Very funny,” she chirped understanding the squeal of ridicule. My brother, a man of modest size, took one look at us from the front doorway and lurched to block the entrance, “Hold on. Before you come in I need to call a contractor and have the doorway widened.”

An hour later we sat across from one another with the rest of the clan discussing details we’ve missed on one another’s lives. We caught up on where we are headed and the next five year plan than we laughed cause I’m serious I do want to be a race car driver in Italy and the only other board game V.H.M was buying was Domino’s. I needed to work on the National Domino Champ title and she was willing to support me. This past weekend involved no dancing well, not unless you include Dance Dance Revolution and playing Ring Around the Rosy enough times to make you dizzier than two shots of jager. No, this weekend was nice to be exactly what I am…part of a BIG PHAT FAMILY.

That’s the stuff you write home about.

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  1. My mom and I are the same way. Somedays we get along fine and laught and things are great. But more often than not…she annoys the hell out of me. *sigh* What can you do?

  2. Aren’t all family gatherings the same, the ups and downs of catching up and the recognition that being a part of this group might not be such a bad thing.

  3. and thats what its all about in my humble opinion.

  4. Do you ever watch the show “Brothers & Sisters?” Sally Field plays the liberal Mom and Ally McBeal plays the conservative daughter. As much as I dislike Claista Flockhart, I love watching these two snipe at each other yet still be so supportive of one another.

    And the older brother is HOT.


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