you probably didn’t know

You probably didn’t know I just spent the morning day dreaming of a man in St. Louis. 

 

Chamomile tea keeps me from becoming an alcoholic on lonely nights.  I love tomato soup more than legally allowed since tomatoes scream when coming off the vine.  I talk to much and say random facts to kill silence.  I’m a master at Trivia Pursuit.  I usually don’t sleep with a pillow.  I love the smell of fresh rosemary sprigs hanging in the shower. I can still do the splits.  I’ve gained five pounds since July (but that’s a work in progress).  I routinely tell my cat, “No ass in face,” and believe she understands me. 

 

I love the rain and running in it more.  I still start food fights. I don’t trust girls who call themselves “Princess” or girls who wear tiaras on any occasion.  Get annoyed by ego’s just because they are in the bar industry and “know the scene.”

 

I take photos of my laughing monkey at each FBO (airport) where my Jet lands to remember where I’ve been.  I can’t remember what city or state I was in during most of my stories.  I’m gullible to the point of failure.  I love to laugh and find humor in the oddest places; I am the funniest person I know.  I hate talking on the phone.  I’m developing Blackberritius. I’m afraid of heights even though I fly for a living.  I love funky socks.

  

My two closest friends are from high school.  I once scared a friend so bad she hit me hard enough to bruise my arm (apparently it’s not funny when a car is being towed and you wake up said friend screaming as though your about to have a head on collision). I know most of my friend’s flaws and love them more because of them.   I haven’t talked to my brother in over a year. I have a sister and a niece who are adopted from other countries. As a child, I would save my pennies to send to Sally Struthers’s starving children in Ethiopia.  I want to adopt a village but find joy in giving other peoples kids back then walking away.

 

I think Hillary would be a stronger candidate if she left Bill years ago.  I have the mouth of a sailor when I get mad.  Daily, I walk into inanimate objects and apologize before realizing what they are.  I bruise like a battered woman.  My curtains do match the drapes.  I want botox like the rest of Houston but am scared of the outcome.  

  

After a bum asked me for change, I asked him for his coat. 

 

Your turn….